Artist Conference Network

Ms. Cranky resolves in this sacred new year of 2012 to be extremely kind and sweet to people — unless they walk into her bosom while reading their electronic devices.

And, Cranky truly resolves to stop envying thin women, especially those monsters who sit right across from you at dinner and eat everything in sight and when you question — “do you ever have to diet?” — they, oh, so casually reply — “Oh, it’s in the genes, I can eat anything I want’”— ouii, Well, good for you. Ms. Cranky’s jeans are spelled with a ‘J’ and are a few sizes bigger than yours!

Ms. Cranky resolves to stop envying people with those big loving families. Well, who knows how loving they really are? She hopes a lot and thinks it’s a life’s goal. But, Cranky has to stop envying those big loving families, you know like those people from Nebraska who walk through Times Square and hook arms? Hmmm, or, maybe that’s it! — maybe, in 2012, Ms. Cranky should move to Nebraska!

And, she wants to stop envying women who can wear horribly high heels and not fall on their noses and to stop saying things like —“their feet are going to suffer in 15-20 years.” Ouii, okay Cranky vows to not say anything but still feels their feet will suffer and, maybe, earlier than 15 years.

Cranky resolves to enjoy the moment, the here and now and to ignore things that cause worry — “will I?, won’t I?, will she, won’t he?, will I get that job? Will my article be accepted, will the geraniums in the kitchen bloom before Valentine’s and, if so, will the salmon and red come out at the same time and clash?”

And, to remember that old saying — that sometimes ‘everything you need is right there around you.’

On this New Year’s Day, Ms. Cranky thanks God once again for some of her favorites — the chortle of children’s voices and how they look stomping in those rubber boots; cats, dogs, birds, butterflies; skies, clouds, seas, lakes, swimming pools — and, horseradish.

Thanks for stopping by. Happy New Year everybody.

Ms. Cranky, (MPKane)